operation have a gay friend backfired
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
