I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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