it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
