so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
