girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
