My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
