i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
