i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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