NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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