be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
