that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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