I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
