We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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