We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She needs sedatives and a leash
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Randomize
