she was so not down for the gang bang
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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