when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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