Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
