apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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