just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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