can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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