you didnt know i had herpes?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
