I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
