He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
