i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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