my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
