I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
