My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Redeem this text for a blowjob
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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