My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
