i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My ass is underappreciated
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
