How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
