mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
