Porn is love you can see.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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