question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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