what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
