Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
