Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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