hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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