Screwed.edu
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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