i just made my gag reflex go away.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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