So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
