yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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