YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
