It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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