It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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