And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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