I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
