well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
