your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
