what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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