dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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