I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
His nipple licking is glorious
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