I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
